My Twitter feed is abuzz with warm wishes for International Women’s Day (and my mom’s b-day :P), with one notable exception. Coincidence! He’s the only career misogynist I follow for trolling purposes! Unfortunately someone beat me to the trollery.
I imagine @RoyBlunt lumps women in with livestock. Why have two holidays when you can consolidate?
Did a Zazzle search, this bumper sticker wasn’t there, so goddammit I’m making one.
Newt wants to go to space.
Me and the fella are having a blast coming up with names for Newt’s moon base/state.
NEWT-GINIA
GINGRICHISTAN
MOON UNIT NEWTA
(Crossposted here)
This is the same guy who did this awesome painting I used for joke purposes here.
Like a true artist, he realizes that you can’t expect people to interpret the damn thing correctly and explains every single facet of it with the help of CSS magic.
Also, the man who represents everyone in America is a white dude of course. If we’re going by statistics he should be about 63.7% non-Hispanic white. Also he should be mostly chick.
Rita wrote in today, but nobody cares. Not when there’s fresh meat around. Especially fresh meat that spews every non-grievance grievance into an incoherent jumble of white whining*?
Ladies and gentlemen, Julia Miller does not whine. She vents.
She starts off whining about smoker’s rights. Now, I’m all for legal drugs and employee rights, and I go back and forth on smoking bans (on one hand: worker safety; on the other hand, smoking sections usually don’t have screaming kids), and I’ve got an eye for implied freedoms in the spirit of the Constitution.
That being said, there is no such thing as even implied smoker’s rights in the Constitution. Unless you interpret a cigarette as an arm you can bear. You can kill people with it, but it’s kind of a slow way isn’t it? I can appreciate you wanting to kill someone slowly and painfully, we all have days like that, but there’s a limit for Pete’s sake! That’s what God gave us Draino and opaque drinks for. I really wish the smoker’s lobby would change their terminology.
Anyway, she wants to be tolerated by employers. Just follow her example!
If that’s acceptable, then let’s take a look at banning obese health care employees. At one time or another, we’ve all been subjected to an enormous person, huffing and puffing, and perspiring, and their flab is laying on some part of our body while tending to their duties. As a smoker with emphysema, I breathe easier, and get around better than most obese people.
…Wow. I’m “subjected” to obese people every day. Depending on your definition of obese (which varies wildly), I’m sadly subjected to my fat ass every moment. Personally I’d rather be subjected to 100 obese people than one superficial self-absorbed wanker like Julia Miller. Unfortunately, I’m also subjected to Julia Millers every day too. Maybe we can get random catty jerk screenings at work?
Reflecting on fat people reminds her that there are other people who aren’t like her, and she totally unravels. Like Mexicans and presidents!
We have a president who’s selling us out to East Indian nations, while living high on the hog. And, next in line, this once great nation is “hell bent for leather” in becoming the “Northern United States of Mexico.”
And of course she’s a fucking stuck-up godbag as well. As Jesus said, “Ye are the light of the world. Also NO FAT CHICKS.”
Thank God, (oh, no, I dared to mention him) I won’t live to see some of the devastation.
Oh hey! Did you hear about Jessica Ahlquist, Julia Miller? Did you hear how her side totally creamed yours in court? And how your side is totally shitting the bed, threatening her, griping like spoiled children…basically pulling a Julia Miller? And how nothing they can do can change the fact that they lost horribly?
I just thought you might like to hear that. I know I do.
Anyway! Don’t forget to tell us how persecuted white people are!
I’m so Caucasian I glow in the dark, but that’s an atrocity these days. You can celebrate, and days are set aside to celebrate, being anything other than a white, heterosexual person.
First off, if you’re glowing in the dark, that’s not Caucasian. That’s a bioluminescent deep-sea fish. You’re not even a fucking tetrapod. Stop meddling in human sociopolitics, fish.
Second off, as previously stated everywhere else, they do have white hetero pride days. They’re called EVERY DAY. Privilege! LEARN IT.
After taking a dig at people who use a word to describe their ethnicity and their nationality, but before the hilarious parting shot about immigration (please, somebody dig up this woman’s family tree and see if her ancestors came here “the right way”, as in “not just showing up and claiming any Indian land you set foot on”), she concludes thus:
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if everyone relearned the meaning of “tolerance,” and truly came here for the right reasons?
The true meaning of tolerance, it turns out, is “don’t be noticeably different than me and if you are, don’t challenge my privilege and assumptions. And don’t leave your house if you’re fat.”
Maybe we should make February “Chain Smoking Snotty White Wanker History Month.” I nominate Julia for the planning committee.
*Speaking of which, if you haven’t already you should go to whitewhine.com. It’s like this letter, only less consolidated.
This letter was in the Joplin Globe today:
WEBB CITY, Mo. — Is this not America, the land of the free? How can anyone who calls themselves an American endorse and support any form of discrimination?
Religious affiliation, nonprofit, or not, how dare you propose hiring policies against any person who partakes of a legal substance such as tobacco, as long as that person adheres to any, and all, workplace policies?
Within the confines of legal consumption, and/or practice, what anyone does on their personal time is absolutely no one’s business! What’s next, if I don’t de-gas my beans to your satisfaction, is that grounds for exemption from employment?
Ludicrous, yes, but no more so than testing for nicotine consumption.
If that’s acceptable, then let’s take a look at banning obese health care employees. At one time or another, we’ve all been subjected to an enormous person, huffing and puffing, and perspiring, and their flab is laying on some part of our body while tending to their duties. As a smoker with emphysema, I breathe easier, and get around better than most obese people.
I thank the “powers that be” that my time left on this earth is limited, because this nation is headed to hell in a handbasket, whatever that means. Freedom of choice is in a rapidly spiraling descent.
We have a president who’s selling us out to East Indian nations, while living high on the hog. And, next in line, this once great nation is “hell bent for leather” in becoming the “Northern United States of Mexico.”
Thank God, (oh, no, I dared to mention him) I won’t live to see some of the devastation.
I’m so Caucasian I glow in the dark, but that’s an atrocity these days. You can celebrate, and days are set aside to celebrate, being anything other than a white, heterosexual person.
So many people come here to supposedly better themselves, and/or live the American dream, then try to turn this country into what they left, and they’re “hyphenated” Americans! In my little pea brain, being American is plenty good enough.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if everyone relearned the meaning of “tolerance,” and truly came here for the right reasons? Aren’t we supposed to be the “melting pot,” not the “hyphenated melting pot”?
Most importantly, come here legally. If you can’t, you don’t deserve to be here! It’s disrespectful to all who did it the right way, and to those of us born here.
Julia Miller
Webb City
Pity the poor smoking fatphobic white lady!
Feel free to add your own white guy jokes.
